Looking back at my childhood, I realize I deprived myself of many sources of joy. My sister was four years older than I and was a very talented person, both musically and artistically. I, on the other hand, had a poor ear for music, was left-handed and struggled with my fine motor coordination. Even my mother would say things like, "Don't worry about it. You're such a hard worker and that makes up for a lot." People were always comparing us to each other and I internalized that comparison. No matter what I did, I could never measure up.
As a result, I steered away from things I loved, things that brought me pure bliss and joy. I could not stop my need for music and pursued it despite my shortcomings, but I turned my back on art and visual expression and never looked back.
Through the years I ended up teaching both music and art in public school. I tried to help kids find the joy in their expression and not to worry about comparisons or competence. It was as much about the process as it was the final product. One day I realized the things I was telling students also applied to me. I needed to move past the feelings of being compared to someone else and being found wanting. I needed to embrace the things that brought me joy and made me whole.
I posted this little painting, not because it's wonderful, but because I remember the absolute joy I felt while painting it along with my grandkids on an art afternoon in our family. It has some obvious flaws and I wanted those to show, too. We don't need to be embarrassed that our work isn't perfect. When I look at my little painting, I think of the joy, not the mistakes.
I have many things that bring me joy on a daily basis. I love to write, both poetry and prose. I love to sketch and paint, and enjoy music in its many forms. I enjoy sewing, gardening and cooking. I'm not an expert in any of them, but it doesn't matter That's not the point. The point is that they lift my spirits and bring me joy in my life.
What brings you joy?
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